Jeff Hardy's Diary
by undertaker1465
Summary: Jeff Hardy collects his thoughts to try to ease the tension with his in ring rival, and backstage enemy CM Punk. Will old thoughts bring old feelings?
1. Chapter 1

"This is fucking stupid," said Jeff, huffing and sitting back against his couch. He was sitting on a couch in some hotel room. He had no idea what the name was, they all blurred together when you stayed in them four times a week. 'Better than a stupid bus,' thought Jeff. He then got a scowl. 'That's something, I hate his fucking bus.' Jeff was currently writing a list of all the things he hated about CM Punk. Why? His brother told him to write down everything he hated about Punk, and why. It supposedly helped ease tensions so they could become friends or whatever. It was bullshit. The point was supposed to be that Jeff wouldn't have reasonable explanations for why he hated Punk, but he had perfectly, PERFECTLY, reasonable reasons. Not that Matt would know that though. But he promised him he'd at least try. Jeff really didn't think it'd be this hard.

'He's an arrogant prick,' wrote Jeff. 'He's inconsiderate, he's a liar, and he's a backstabbing douche.' He sighed and set his pencil down beside him. This probably wasn't meant to be a list of insults. But Punk doesn't deserve an explanation anyways, and Jeff never gave him one. He never told him why he stopped talking to him, he didn't tell him why he stopped calling, he didn't tell him why he didn't want to spend the night on his bus anymore. 'He should just know,' thought Jeff. 'I don't have to explain myself, he knows damn well why I don't want to talk to him.' Jeff picked his pencil back up and got back to his paper. 'He doesn't know how bad he hurt me.'

They were friends once, the best of friends. And as far as the public knew, that was all they were. Punk liked it that way. They liked it that way. It was fun, it was safe. No one else knew they did more than play games on that bus. Although, they played plenty of games. 'Him and his fucking games,' thought Jeff. There were many, many times Jeff would just go to bed because he couldn't grab Punk's attention for five seconds off of his game. 'But it was always cute how his tongue stuck out the tiniest bit when he played,' thought Jeff. He let out a heavy sigh and reached into his pocket, pulling out a silver heart pin. Punk probably thought he threw it away, but he would never. Sure, he was definitely not going to wear it on his arm bands again anytime soon. Or ever. But he always had it in his pocket. Jeff hasn't wrestled a match without it in over two years. Punk gave it to him after an argument about six months into their special little friendship. He said he found it a while back and was waiting for the right opportunity to do something with it, he said Jeff wore his heart on his sleeves anyway so he might as well have it. Jeff got a soft smile, running his thumb over the tiny heart. That was something he didn't hate, Punk's sense of humor. He always knew what to say to make Jeff laugh. But he also knew just how to make Jeff cry, even if wasn't trying to.

Jeff looked down at his paper and began to write again. 'You never committed to me. You never told me how you felt. You never comforted me after you hurt me in the ring.' Their storyline took a huge toll on them. Punk was definitely a safe worker and never hurt Jeff physically, but mentally, he tore Jeff apart. He never understood what Jeff was saying, he would always brush it off, saying, "Why does it bother you? It's not real. You know I wouldn't actually say that to you." Jeff would try to answer back, Punk would cut him off with a kiss, they'd wind up back under the covers and the subject would be dropped until the next promo. Jeff was glad Punk could just shake off his character and pretend like nothing happened, but he couldn't. He couldn't just shake off Punk calling him "A drugged-up mistake" and then make up with him ten minutes later. Jeff couldn't look into Punk's eyes and pretend to hate him. Jeff couldn't hate him. How could he? Punk was everything to him. He was the only person who knew who Jeff actually was.

No one knew they were more than friends, no one else knew they were even bisexual. The only reason Punk found out Jeff was is because he caught Jeff accidentally sneak a peek and then blush when he saw him in the shower. Jeff had a crush on Punk for years, and when Punk said they should be "friends with benefits," it crushed him, but of course he agreed. A little Punk was better than no Punk, and hey, the sex was great. It never meant to last, they both figured it'd be a few weeks, maybe even a few months of just fucking around. Neither of them thought it'd last two years. 'You never remembered our anniversary,' wrote Jeff. Sure, they weren't really together, so Jeff just ignored it the first year, but by the second year, you'd think it'd be considered a relationship at that point.

'I don't hate you,' wrote Jeff. 'I never hated you. I don't even dislike you. I can't stand how much everything little thing you do drives me crazy. The way you constantly hugged me from behind. The way you used to poke my nose no matter how many times I told you to stop. How you used to rub my back after a match without me ever asking even once. I hate that you don't do that anymore.' Jeff felt a tear roll down his cheek and a wet drop appeared on his paper. 'I hate that I don't sleep on your bus anymore. I hate that your old t-shirt I took doesn't smell like you anymore. I hate that I still have to pretend like I hate you in the ring. I hate that you actually think I hate you. I hate that I don't hate you.' Jeff tossed his pencil and paper aside and picked up his phone. He dialed the old number he still knew by heart and waited for an answer. It rang several times before going to voicemail.

"Hey, it's Phil, obviously I can't come to the phone right now. If you want to sell me something, fuck off. If you want me to donate to a charity, I probably already had." Jeff sighed as he listened to the message. "And if it's Jeff, I'm sorry." Jeff's eyes widened and he felt all the tears he was holding back fall down his face. He pulled the phone away and stared at it as he heard the beep that signaled him to start his message. Jeff stared at it for a few moments before pressing the end button and setting his phone aside. He felt butterflies everywhere in his stomach and pulled his knees into his chest. How old was that message. Was it too old and Punk just forgot to update it? Was it new enough that Punk might still mean it? Jeff never tried to call once after their big blow out. It happened six months ago, there was no way he could still mean that. He's had to have moved on by now.

They ended like almost all couples do, with an argument. It wasn't worse than any of their other arguments, Jeff was just tired of it. They were running in circles with no end in sight. Punk didn't understand, he never did. Jeff couldn't hide his feelings anymore. He couldn't pretend just being friends was what he wanted. Jeff couldn't take it anymore. "What are you talking about?" said Punk. "Where is this coming from?"

"You don't understand me!" said Jeff. "You never listen to anything I say!"

"I listen to everything you say!" said Punk. "Why are you making such a big deal out of this?! It was a fucking promo!"

"It's not about that!" said Jeff. "I can't take this shit anymore! I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of this fucking bus, and I'm tired of you!"

Jeff walked to the door of the bus and Punk stood up. "Don't leave. Look, we can work this out. We ca-"

"There's nothing left here," said Jeff, opening the door and shutting it behind himself.

They hadn't talked properly since that day. Punk tried to call and text but Jeff didn't pick up. He refused to go talk to Punk privately, the only times they talked were the very awkward minutes spent discussing matches. Jeff had a diary he kept from their time together he still wrote in every now and then, it was the only way he could voice his thoughts. And he needed to before he went absolutely crazy. Jeff wiped a tear off of his face, and picked up his phone again, debating whether or not to call again. Punk would have no reason to call back, Jeff doubted he still had his number. Jeff's heart stopped and his eyes lit up when he saw his phone flash, seeing the familiar number on the screen. He immediately answered and put the phone to his ear. "Phil?"

"I didn't think you'd ever call," said Punk.

"I didn't think I would either," said Jeff.

"Where are you?" said Punk.

"The hotel," said Jeff.

"What room?" said Punk.

"113," said Jeff.

"Stay there," said Punk. "I'm coming."

The line went dead and Jeff got a small smile staring at his phone. He quickly got up and washed his face off, trying to take away some of the redness from crying, to no avail. Jeff heard a knock on his door and ran to it. As soon as he opened it Jeff found himself in familiar strong arms. He breathed in the cologne he missed too much as he let himself cry into Punk's chest.

"I'm so sorry," said Punk, stroking Jeff's hair. "I never thought about how you felt."

Jeff shook his head and looked up at Punk, wiping a tear away. "I should have told you."

Punk placed a hand on Jeff's face and wiped a tear away with his thumb. "No more tears. I'm gonna make this right."

AN: Thanks so much for reading! I hope you liked it! :D Please leave a review!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I decided to put flashbacks/memories in italics to make it easier to understand. Let me know if you like it more this way in a review!

Punk walked backstage after his match, just giving courteous nods to people who told him good job. He didn't bother waiting behind for Jeff to get back, Jeff wasn't going to want to talk anyways. Punk went straight to the locker room, got dressed, and went straight out to his bus. This was his routine for the past six months. Well, it's technically always been his routine, but normally Jeff would be there with him.

Punk hadn't talked to Jeff in months, not really. They talked for a few minutes before the match because they technically had to plan it. He couldn't believe this damn rivalry was still going. Punk was so fed up with it. The fans still seemed to love it though, so on it went. It hurt him to see the pain in Jeff's eyes every time he tossed an insult at him. He didn't know why he never saw it before. But as much as he hated the storyline, he cherished it, in a way. It's the only time he ever spent with Jeff, and it's the only thing Jeff would ever talk to him about. After this storyline was over, he seriously doubted Jeff would ever talk to him again.

Jeff tried to tell him the promos hurt him, but he never listened. Punk always just brushed him off, he didn't understand. He never got affected by what happened in the ring, he knew to separate in ring from out of ring. Punk pulled out his phone in his bus and looked at his missed calls. Still nothing. He had been calling Jeff non-stop for weeks after they broke up, but got absolutely nothing back. Punk changed his voice mail a month after they called it off, just hoping one day Jeff would call so he could tell him he was sorry. That's all Punk wanted, just to tell him he was sorry. Jeff never gave him the time of day to do it.

For a full month after Jeff left, Punk convinced himself he'd done thing wrong. He refused to say sorry, not that Jeff would let him do it anyways. But one day he walked into the locker room and saw Jeff's journal lying beside his stuff. Jeff was always writing in that thing when they were together, he couldn't help but take a peak.

 _Punk picked up the book and opened to a random page._

 _"_ _April 15_ _th_ _, 2015,_

 _It's officially been ten days since me and Phil "broke up." I never thought it'd be this hard. Every time he calls all I want is to answer and beg for him back but I can't. I won't. It hurt too much to be with him. But why is it hurting even more without him? I just want the pain to stop."_

 _Punk's face fell to a frown and he flipped a few pages ahead._

 _"_ _April 23_ _rd_ _, 2015,_

 _Phil hasn't called in a few days. I thought I'd be happy about it but I'm not. I keep checking my phone expecting to see his number there. It's so hard. I slept in his shirt last night and it didn't smell like him anymore. The cologne has finally faded away. I miss his arms."_

 _Phil kept flipping through pages, getting more and more depressed with every one. 'He never told me he felt this way,' thought Punk, reading about how sad Jeff was they were only "friends." He looked towards the beginning of the journal and got to a page that made his heart drop._

 _"May 4th, 2014,_

 _I'm so tired. Me and Phil fought so I'm staying in a hotel tonight. I don't even remember what about. We fight so much, I'm so tired of it. But I can't live without it. He's the only person that understands me. He makes me feel like myself. I wouldn't know what to do without him. I can't just be by myself anymore. I felt like nothing before he came around and he changed that. Is being with him stupid at this point? Maybe, but it's the only thing I have left. I feel like I'm just writing in this stupid thing so maybe one day I'll have the guts to say how I feel. But what's even the point? He never listens to me. I've tried everything just to get him to at least consider my side but it never works. I still have hope that one day this will change and we'll be happy together, I just want him to say sorry. He doesn't even know how bad he's hurting me every time he calls me a junkie. I know he doesn't mean it but it still hurts. I just want one true apology and for him to actually listen to what I have to say._

 _I can't leave him. I'll never leave him. He makes me feel OK with myself. I always feel OK when I'm in his arms. Is there something wrong with me? Does he just not want to commit to someone like me? Does he actually mean those awful things he says to me? But I can't stop myself from going to his bus every night. I just need to be with him so badly, like an addiction. I am a fucking junkie. Will him apologizing even fix anything? I don't know, I doubt it, but it's the only thing that will make me feel better. That's all I want. But no matter what, apology or no apology, I know I'm going to wind up in his bus again because no matter how bad he makes me feel, he also makes me feel complete. Everything that I don't have he does, he's my other half. He's such a good person, I guess I've always envied that about him. I always used to look up to him and want to be him. I wanted to know what it felt like to be straight edge, to feel complete. I wanted to know how not to hate myself for being a drug addict. I was fading, and I just wanted to be OK again, and he gave me that."_

 _He set the book back by Jeff's bag and got changed, exiting the room as quickly as possible before Jeff got out of the showers. As soon as Punk got back to his bus he tossed his bag at the wall and plopped down on the bed, resting his face in his hands. He couldn't believe what he'd just read. Punk never saw any instance of Jeff missing him even the slightest bit. 'I hurt him,' thought Punk. 'I really hurt him. I destroyed him.' He grabbed his phone and checked his calls, no surprise, nothing from Jeff. Punk went to his voicemail and changed it, having the slightest hope one day Jeff would call._

It'd been five months since Punk changed his voicemail and Jeff still hadn't called. Punk had all but given up on it. He hadn't changed his voicemail since that day, still hanging on to the tiniest strand of hope Jeff would call him one day. Punk still called Jeff every now and then, getting the same result every time, absolutely nothing. He never realized how much his life revolved around Jeff until he was gone. It was the little things that got to him, like accidentally grabbing two plates instead of one, leaving the TV on while he slept because Jeff could never sleep without it, sleeping on only one side of the bed because Jeff liked the other side. He didn't think it'd be this hard to let go.

Punk doubted Jeff would believe him, but he hadn't been with anyone since they broke it off. He'd had plenty of offers, but he couldn't stop thinking about Jeff. Every time he'd turn a girl down he always wondered if he was missing something great, but he couldn't bring himself to move on. Punk was never a relationship kind of guy, he just didn't see the point in titles. But if there was anyone he came that close to in his life, it would be Jeff. He never bought up their anniversary because he didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but he remembered, he always did. Punk knew the date of their first kiss, their first time going all the way, their anniversary, even the time Jeff first laughed at one of his stupid jokes. But more recently, the date of their breakup. He remembered the first time he made Jeff cry, their first argument, the first time Jeff decided to stay in a hotel instead of on his bus, everything.

Seeing Jeff cry absolutely breaks his heart. Punk has never been good with crying, he just didn't really know what to say to someone when they were like that, and it always worked. Maybe if he had just paid more attention, if he had just taken two seconds to really think about why Jeff was crying, maybe Jeff would still be here. Punk wrestled with these what ifs every day. What if he had gotten Jeff flowers just once? What if he had just held Jeff when he was crying instead of hooking up with him?

Punk sighed. "I can't keep doing this to myself, He's gone." He wondered if Jeff still had the heart pin he gave him. Punk noticed he hadn't been wearing it on his armbands anymore. Jeff probably just tossed it. He didn't really have a reason to keep it anymore. Punk had lied to him when he gave it to him, he said he had just found it a while back, but really he went out and bought it right after their argument. He gave it to him with a snarky line and said he just found it so it didn't seem like a big deal. Whether that was actually for Jeff or for him, he didn't know anymore. Seeing Jeff wearing it always gave him a smile.

He had convinced himself he didn't have feelings for Jeff for a while, up until their last day even. But now, Punk knew he was just lying to himself all along. He wanted Jeff, he NEEDED Jeff. What Jeff wrote in his journal, Jeff really was his other half. He couldn't believe Jeff envied him, he used to envy Jeff. Jeff was so cool, and loved, and popular. He seemed so whole, but looking back at it now, Jeff was just as broken as he was. They really were each other's missing puzzle pieces.

About halfway through his shower he heard his phone start going off. He sighed, it was probably telemarketers again. Punk was just going to let the voice mail get it. He hardly ever actually answered his phone, mostly because he was too disappointed to after seeing it wasn't Jeff. 'Hey, maybe it's actually Jeff this time,' thought Punk. He scoffed. 'Wishful thinking much?' Punk finished up and walked out in his towel to look at his phone. His eyes widened when he saw the number and accidentally dropped his phone. "Shit!" said Punk. He quickly called Jeff back and held the phone to his ear. 'Please tell me I didn't just miss my chance,' thought Punk. He heard the ringing stop and felt himself hold his breath. Punk heard a soft voice say "Phil?" and immediately got a small smile.

AN: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review!

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crazychic: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like my stories! I mainly lost my inspiration to write, but it is definitely back at the moment haha reviews definitely help


	3. Chapter 3

Jeff laid in Punk's arms on the couch, breathing in his cologne as Punk tucked a stray hair behind his ear. He would never get tired of that smell. Jeff missed this so much, more than anything else. Just lying in each other's arms. He had no idea where they stood, but right now he couldn't care less. Jeff just wanted to be with Punk and pretend like the rest of the world didn't exist. Like they had no problems, no responsibilities, and that all they had to do was just be here with each other.

Jeff looked up and met Punk's olive eyes, and smiled when a kiss was planted on his forehead. "I missed you so much," said Jeff.

"I missed you more," said Punk, gently shifting Jeff to lie on top of him. Jeff nuzzled into the crook of his neck with a happy sigh. "You got here really fast. I was going to change to make myself look somewhat presentable." Jeff's hair was up in a messy bun, his eyes were red, and he was wearing a white t-shirt with black sweatpants. Not too unlike his ring gear, and not exactly what he wanted to be wearing for this rendezvous.

Punk chuckled softly. "You look perfect, and my bus is parked right in front of the hotel."

Jeff got a small smile. "Well, you certainly look better than usual. I see you finally shaved that squirrel off of your face." Jeff hated Punk's beard with a passion. It was the most uncomfortable thing in the world when they were kissing, and even more uncomfortable when doing other things… He didn't really appreciate the brushy fuzz and poking of it down there. And how long it got was just disgusting. Although, he did really appreciate when Punk went down there, so he learned to live with the beard.

Punk chuckled and stroked his bare chin. "Finally got the ok from Vince to do it. It was a decently big part of my character."

"How long do you think this rivalry is going to go on?" said Jeff, stretching his arms up and over Punk's shoulders. It was beyond annoying to him at this point. The sooner it ended the better. Jeff was honestly starting to get tired of wrestling as a whole. All the stunts were really taking a toll on him, but that's what they hired him for.

"As long as the fans want it," said Punk, circling his thumb above Jeff's waist, slowly dipping under his shirt. "So, if we both start doing a shitty job, I think we'll lose their interest."

Jeff laughed and sighed happily at Punk massaging his lower back. It was always so relaxing when he did that. "We'll also lose our jobs."

"Seems like a small sacrifice to make to be able to stop beating you up every week," said Punk, planting small kisses on his collar bone and sliding his hand up the back of Jeff's shirt.

Jeff let out a very soft sigh but bit his lip as Punk started inching his lip up to Jeff's jaw. "Phil."

"Yeah?" said Punk, pulling his mouth away from Jeff's neck.

"I'm pretty tired," said Jeff, pulling a hand back and rubbing the back of his neck. He actually wasn't, but he needed a decent excuse to not make out with Punk right now. Jeff didn't know why, but he just didn't feel ready for it yet. He wanted to talk about things first before they just jumped back in where they left off. Jeff didn't want to make the same mistakes all over again. He COULDN'T make the same mistakes all over again. Everything was so rushed last time, he wanted it to be special this time. If there was something they always had in their relationship, it was hot, fiery passion, but Jeff wanted more than that this time. He felt like if they just rushed into it again it would blow right back up in their face. Even their first day together was rushed.

 _Jeff sat at the hotel bar, taking a sip of his drink. He had to take his mind off of things. Jeff had always thought of Punk as pretty cute, and maybe he had a tiny bit of a crush on him, but now, things were out of control. This was the first crush he's had since he broke up with Beth a few months ago. He had seen Punk in the shower earlier that day, and it was probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to him. Jeff was just getting out of his shower when he caught a glimpse of Punk out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't help but look, and it was Punk's fault for not showering with his curtains closed in the first place. When Punk looked back and they made eye contact for a split second Jeff turned as red as a tomato and left the room as quickly as possible. So now here he was, crushing harder than ever after completely humiliating himself, and he couldn't get the naked image of Punk out of his head. Jeff sighed and took another sip of his drink, pushing the empty glass away as he finished. He started feeling a little more than buzzed and groaned. 'Probably time to head back to my room,' thought Jeff. He got up and felt a hand placed on his shoulder. Jeff turned to look and his eyes widened, seeing CM Punk standing there. "Punk?"_

 _"_ _You're not leaving yet are you?" said Punk._

 _Jeff just shrugged, swallowing nervously and doing everything in his power to not picture Punk in the shower. "What are you doing here?"_

 _"_ _Just came to say hi," said Punk, getting a small smirk at Jeff playing with his hands._

 _"_ _Oh," said Jeff, biting his lip. "If this is about earlier-"_

 _"_ _No, don't worry about it," said Punk. "I have a great body, I know it's hard not to look."_

 _Jeff smiled and rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I didn't mean to, but I am sorry."_

 _"_ _No it's fine," said Punk. "But, I think you owe me a shower peak."_

 _Jeff's jaw dropped slightly as Punk grabbed his hand and started leading him out of the bar. "Come on, let's go talk on my bus."_

One thing led to another that night, talking led to kissing, and it wasn't long before they were in his bed. That had not only been his first time with Punk, it was his first time with a guy altogether. To say it hurt was an understatement. He could remember Punk being worried to go through with it because of how much he was wincing. It didn't just hurt though, it felt amazing. He remembered screaming for Punk to go deeper so loud he was honestly still worried to this day someone heard them. Thinking back on it now made his heart ache, it all seemed so simple back then. Jeff slowly climbed off of Punk and Punk stretched with a groan. "Alright, you want to head down to the bus?"

"Um, no," said Jeff, as Punk got off the couch.

"Why not?" said Punk, getting off the couch with a confused look.

"I just paid for this room already, might as well use it," said Jeff.

"Oh, right," said Punk, he then got a sympathetic tone. "Are you uh, ok?"

"Yeah," said Jeff. "I'm just tired."

"You know, I can still tell when you're lying," said Punk, crossing his arms.

"I just, I don't want to rush it," said Jeff.

"We're not rushing anything," said Punk, taking Jeff's hand. "I mean, we've already done, well, everything."

"I know," said Jeff. "It's just-"

"Look, we'll take it slow," said Punk, caressing Jeff's cheek with his hand. He gently guided Jeff's jaw up and kissed him. Jeff kissed him back with a muffled moan, pulled away when he felt Punk's hands slipping below his waist. "I am tired, though."

"Alright," said Punk. "Let's get you to bed." Jeff laughed cheerfully as Punk picked him up bridal style and laid him down in the bed. Jeff laid his head on Punk's chest as Punk held him. "You're going to sleep in your jeans?" said Jeff, tracing his fingers down Punk's tattooed arms. Some of his tattoos were just plain odd, but that's what he loved about them.

"I mean, if you're insisting I take them off," said Punk, making Jeff smirk.

"Keep your boxers on," said Jeff, as Punk pulled away to slip his pants off.

"That'll be hard considering I'm wearing boxer briefs," said Punk.

"What?" said Jeff. "You hate those."

"Well, I decided to try some, and you were right, they're comfortable," said Punk, pulling Jeff back up against him.

Jeff got a small smirk as Punk's arms wrapped around his thin waist. "I told you so."

"Yeah yeah," said Punk, reaching over and turning off the table lamp.

"Can you turn off the ceiling light too?" said Jeff, sleepily.

Punk sighed and got up. "You just want to stare at my butt."

Jeff chuckled as Punk turned the light off and crawled back into bed. Jeff woke up in the middle of the night and squeezed his eyes shut tightly when he saw a light on. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked over at Punk sitting at the desk. "Phil?"

Punk looked over and immediately shut the book he was reading. "Sorry, I couldn't sleep. I figured reading would tire me out."

Jeff rubbed his eyes. Punk had never been a heavy sleeper, he always had a problem with insomnia. He could hardly sleep through the whole night. Usually Punk would have just woken Jeff up with kisses and have had another round of sex before going back to sleep. "What are you reading?"

"Um, the… bible," said Punk. "You know, it is the only book in here."

Jeff gave a soft chuckle and stretched. "Come lay with me."

Punk closed the book and turned off the desk lamp. He laid next to Jeff and pulled him back into his arms. "Goodnight, babe."

"Goodnight," said Jeff, snuggling into Punk and closing his eyes.

The next morning they were awoken by a loud knock at the door. Jeff groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Who is it?"

"It's Matt," said the person at the door. "Let me in. I've been knocking for ten minutes."

Jeff's eyes widened and he looked over at Punk. "Um, two minutes!" Punk immediately got out of bed, grabbed his pants and walked over to go to the bathroom as silently as possible.

Jeff waited for him to get in before taking a deep breath and opening the door. "Yes?"

"Are you feeling better about Punk yet?" said Matt, walking into the room.

"Um, yeah, all better," said Jeff. He was pretty sure the speed at which his heart was beating right now was deadly. Jeff was worried Matt might even hear it.

"See, I told you the letter would help," said Matt. He raised a brow as he saw a shadow move under the bathroom door. "Who's in the bathroom?'

"What?" said Jeff, his eyes widening. "Nobody."

Matt smirked at him. "It's a girl, isn't it?"

"No," said Jeff quietly. Well, he wasn't lying.

"Uh huh," said Matt. "Well, I'll leave you two alone. I just wanted to make sure you weren't still upset."

"Yeah," said Jeff, as Matt left. "See you later." He looked over at Punk when he came out and let out a deep breath. "That was close."

"No kidding," said Punk. "Still don't want to tell anyone, huh?'

Jeff sat on the bed and shrugged. "I don't know."

"Is it me?" said Punk.

"No," said Jeff. "It has nothing to do with you, I'm just not ready to tell people yet."

Punk sat by him and grabbed his hand. "That's ok. We don't have to tell anyone. I mean, we never did before anyways."

Jeff got a frown and sighed. "Yeah. I actually wanted to talk-"

"Can it wait two minutes?" said Punk. "I really have to pee."

Jeff crossed his arms with a small smile. "Why didn't you go when you were in there?"

"I was trying to be quiet," said Punk, walking to the bathroom.

"Some good that did," said Jeff. He sighed and walked over to the desk. Jeff's eyes widened when he saw his journal sitting on the desk. 'Oh fuck, I left that out last night. I hope Phil didn't see it,' thought Jeff. 'Wait, he didn't… no, he was reading the bible.' Jeff saw the bible sitting on the corner of the desk. 'Even though he hates the bible… No, he wouldn't lie to me.' Jeff took the journal and stuffed it in his bag. Punk walked out and yawned. "What'd you want to talk about?"

"Um," said Jeff. "Just, about us."

"Oh," said Punk, sitting beside him on the bed. "What's up?"

"What are we?" said Jeff?

"Well," said Punk, rubbing the back of his neck. "We uh, are… I don't know." Punk thought back to Jeff's journal, trying to remember exactly what Jeff said. "I'm not sure, but I know you're my other half, and that I need you. I don't want to be just friends with you anymore."

Jeff slowly smiled and then hugged him. "That's exactly what I was thinking."

Punk chuckled. "Imagine that. And, you know, whenever you're ready to tell people, I am too."

Jeff kissed his cheek and got up. "I've gotta get dressed. I've got a flight to catch."

"Who'd you ride here with?" asked Punk.

"Jay," said Jeff.

"Tell him I'll drive you to the airport," said Punk.

"Alright," said Jeff, grabbing clothes and walking into the bathroom. He picked up his phone and called Jay, better known as Christian in the ring, hearing it ring three times before he picked up. Jay had been his right hand man the past six months. He'd noticed something was off about Jeff, and Jeff just lied and said he was still upset over his breakup with Beth. Jay bought it, took Jeff out for a drink, and they quickly bonded and became good friends. Jeff really didn't know what he would have done without Jay.

"Hey, I'm almost ready," said Jay.

"Oh, Phil is going to take me to the airport," said Jeff.

"Phil? What happened to calling him douche face?" said Jay.

"We made up," said Jeff.

"Ah, the bromance has reformed," said Jay. "I feel replaced already."

"You're not replaced," said Jeff. "You're still my best friend."

"Alright," said Jay. "I guess it's fine, as long as you're not sleeping with the guy."

Jeff's eyes widened before he realized it was a joke. He laughed awkwardly. "Why do you always have to go to sex?"

"What can I say, I'm a sex driven man," said Jay. "Besides, he's probably infected from all the divas he sleeps with.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "Shut up. I'll talk to you later."

"Alright, bye," said Jay.

Jeff hung up the phone and sighed. He did wonder about that, how many girls Punk had slept with when they were on their break. Even how many girls he might have been sleeping with when they were together. Jeff never brought it up, mainly because he was almost afraid to know the answer. It'd still be hard for him to ask even now. It was just something that would always just chip away at his heart every time he thought about it. His heart was flat out pulverized by their break-up, the last thing he wanted to do was bring that feeling back again. Jeff finished getting dressed and walked out to Punk.

"Ready to go?" said Punk.

"Yep," said Jeff, giving him a soft smile. They grabbed their stuff and walked out to Punk's bus. When they walked outside of the hotel, Jeff took a breath of the grassy smell and smiled. He looked at the birds drifting by them before looking towards Punk's bus. 'I can do this,' thought Jeff. 'I can do this.'

AN: Thanks for reading everyone! Hope you liked it, please leave a review!

Anonymous- Thanks for reviewing! And Thanks so much! :D

rollinsforever- Thanks for following and favoriting!


	4. Chapter 4

Punk watched Jeff get onto his bus. He looked so uneasy. Punk didn't know what was wrong, Jeff was acting so strange last night and now it seems like he doesn't even want to be here. Everything was so weird, Punk just wanted things to go back to normal already. Back to the way it was. Although, apparently, the way it was wasn't all that great either. Punk really wanted their first few weeks back. They were already having sex but it was all still so innocent. Why couldn't it be like that anymore?

Punk set his luggage down in one of the compartments on the bus and looked over at Jeff. "I'll get your stuff for you."

"What a gentleman," said Jeff, walking over and handing Punk his bag.

Punk smirked and put Jeff's bag up with his. That was the Jeff he knew. "When does your flight leave?"

Jeff looked down at his phone. "Four hours."

"So, do you want to sit at an airport for four hours," said Punk, leaning against the wall of his bus. "Or do you want to chill here for a little while."

Jeff shrugged. "Don't you have a flight too?"

Punk shook his head. "No, I'm driving. It's not that far."

"Right," said Jeff, biting his lip. "Well, we can just relax here, I guess. It's much more comfortable than airport seats."

Punk smiled and sat on his bed, laying back on it. "Awesome, come lay with me for a while."

Jeff softly smiled as Punk patted the spot next to him. He walked over and lied down next to Punk. "Don't feel like playing your games?"

Punk chuckled as he put an arm around Jeff's shoulders. "I'd rather play with you."

Jeff blushed and brushed his hair back. "Shut up."

Punk smirked and ran a hand over his face with a yawn. "Want to take a nap?"

"Actually, a nap sounds great," said Jeff, resting his head on Punk's chest and letting his eyes close.

Punk shut his eyes and leant his head down closer to Jeff, breathing the scent of his hair in as he fell asleep. When Jeff woke up, he smiled and cuddled closer to Punk. Punk awoke from the movement and groaned softly. "Man, that was a good ass nap," said Punk, rolling onto his side to put both arms around Jeff.

"No kidding," said Jeff. "It feels like we've been sleeping for forever." He shifted in Punk's arms to face away from him and grabbed his phone. Jeff's eyes widened and he immediately got up. "Fuck!"

"What?" said Punk, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"It's two o'clock!" said Jeff. "I'm gonna be late!"

"When does your plane take off?" said Punk.

"At 2:30," said Jeff.

"Jeff, we won't make it there in time," said Punk. "It takes an hour to get to the airport from here."

Jeff groaned and sat on the bed, burying his face in his hands. "Great. Just fucking great."

"Look, I'll just drive you home, it's no big deal," said Punk.

Jeff looked over at him and sighed. "I was supposed to fly home with Matt. Now he's gonna question where I am."

"Oh," said Punk. "I mean, it's not that abnormal for two straight guy friends to go on a bus ride together."

"Phil, this is one of the gayest situations we could be in right now," said Jeff, he then sighed. "How did we do such a good job of hiding this before?"

"I guess we weren't really trying to hide it before," said Punk. "And people knew we were friends, it wasn't that odd for us to hang out."

"Yeah," said Jeff, crossing his arms. "I'm really getting tired of it."

"We don't have to hide it you know," said Punk. "What's stopping you?"

"It's just, we're wrestlers, Phil," said Jeff, with a pained sigh. "The other guys would be uncomfortable if they knew."

"Then I'll kick every single one of them in the face," said Punk. "Problem solved."

Jeff smiled at him. "How will that solve anything?"

"It won't, but it'll make me feel better," said Punk. Jeff laughed and Punk smiled. "Well, we better start going."

"What are you gonna do after you drop me off?" said Jeff.

"What do you mean?" said Punk, sitting in the driver's seat.

"We're in Kansas, it's already a long drive to North Carolina," said Jeff. "And then you have to drive all the way back to Illinois."

"Are you inviting me to stay with you?" said Punk.

Jeff rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I mean, you could if you wanted to, I guess."

Punk smiled at him. "How about I take you home for now, and we'll talk when we're there."

"That sounds good," said Jeff, with a soft smile. It took only a few minutes of driving for Jeff to get a call from Matt. He bit his lip and answered it. "Hello?"

"Where the hell are you?" said Matt. "The plane is about to leave!"

"Me and Punk got caught up in some games, he's driving me home," said Jeff.

"Really? And you didn't think it'd be important to tell me?" said Matt.

"I was going to," said Jeff.

"Oh really? When I got home without you?" said Matt. He then sighed. "I'm glad you guys are friends again, I guess."

"Yeah, I'll talk to you later," said Jeff.

"Alright, bye," said Matt.

"See? No problem," said Punk.

"For now," said Jeff. He got onto his email on his phone and sighed. "Oh great, next week's script just got sent out."

"How am I kicking your ass this week?" said Punk.

"Shut up," said Jeff. He scrolled through the script until he got to their part and his eyes widened. "Oh my god."

"What? Am I throwing you off a cage?" said Punk.

"No, Trish is returning," said Jeff.

"Woah really?" said Punk. "That's pretty big news."

"And they're pairing me back up with her," said Jeff.

"What?" said Punk.

"You know, like how we used to be when I first started out," said Jeff.

"Yeah, I know," said Punk, getting a frown. "Why are they pairing you two up? You're feuding with me, and that's such an old storyline anyways."

"She's going to manage me for a bit until she's used to being in the ring again," said Jeff. "And she's really nice, it'll be fun."

"Why can't she manage someone else?" said Punk, with a bitter tone.

Jeff got a small smirk. "What? Are you jealous?"

"As fun as it would be being in a love storyline with you, no," said Punk. "I don't get jealous."

"Ooookkkk," said Jeff, looking back down at his phone. "You're going to be harassing me backstage and she's going to come up and defend me."

"Sounds great," said Punk softly, in a very monotone voice.

"Are you sure you're not upset about this?" said Jeff. "Because we can always go to the writers and-"

"And what? Tell them I'm fucking you?" snapped Punk. It was silent for a few seconds before Punk sighed. "I'm sorry."

Jeff crossed his arms. "It's just a storyline Phil, it's not like I'm actually dating her."

"I know," said Punk. "But it's someone you actually did date."

"That doesn't matter. I'm dating you now," said Jeff. "Don't you trust me?"

"I trust you," said Punk. "But Trish… I don't know if you've noticed Jeff, but you're insanely hot, and incredibly hard to resist."

Jeff got a small smile. "Nothing is going to happen. I promise."

"Alright," said Punk, with a sigh.

They drove for several more hours before Punk looked behind him and saw Jeff asleep on the bed. He smiled and looked back at the road, Punk had never seen anything more adorable than Jeff sleeping in his entire life. Waking up next to Jeff last night was the happiest he'd been in a long time. Punk did have every intention of just reading a few pages of the bible last night to tire himself out, but when he saw Jeff's diary sitting there next to it, he couldn't resist.

 _Punk slowly pulled away from Jeff, trying not to wake him and walked over to the desk. He turned on the little table lamp and sighed, looking at the bible sitting there. 'Better than nothing,' thought Punk. His eyebrows quirked when he saw Jeff's diary sitting right next to it. Punk looked back at Jeff, seeing him sleeping peacefully. 'It couldn't hurt to take a peal, and it'll help me better understand him anyways,' thought Punk. He sat down at the desk and opened the journal. Punk took a deep breath and started reading._

 _"_ _March 9_ _th_ _, 2014,_

 _It's mine and Phil's anniversary today. I doubt he remembers. We're not even an actual couple anyways so it's not like it matters. I can't believe this has lasted a year. It wasn't even meant to last a month. I doubt Punk initially planned on anything happening past that first night, but here we are. My feelings for him are even stronger than they used to be. I think I'm going to talk to him soon about what we are. It has to be more than friends at this point right? Maybe not today, but sometime soon. Sure, we argue every now and then, but when it's good, it's so good. He makes me so happy."_

 _Punk sighed. He could remember that day, the day Jeff first talked to him about a relationship. Punk had just brushed him off, saying titles aren't necessary, and that they were fine the way they were. Jeff had agreed and Punk thought it was fine, he didn't know how much it hurt Jeff. He didn't know strongly Jeff felt about it. He quickly shut the book when he heard Jeff wake up._

Punk couldn't deny he felt guilty about reading Jeff's journal behind his back, and he felt even guiltier about lying to him about it, but he couldn't stop himself. Jeff never told Punk how he felt, that was the only way he could find out. 'I'm sorry, Jeff,' thought Punk. 'But I have to.' He wondered where it was right now. Not that it mattered, because Punk had to drive, but he couldn't get his mind off of it. There was so much more in there he wanted to know, he NEEDED to know. That little book was almost as addicting as Jeff himself. It could never beat Jeff's taste though, that he could guarantee. Jeff was a combination of skittles and pop rocks, and it was the best thing in the world.

He thought back to his and Jeff's first night together. March 3rd, 2013. That was a date he would never forget. Jeff is by far the best sexual partner he has ever had. BY FAR. Punk remembered how nervous he was when he found out Jeff was a virgin to sleeping with guys. He'd never been with a virgin before, it made it seem so much more important than just having sex. Punk tried so hard not to hurt him, but it seemed like Jeff didn't even mind. Hearing Jeff yell like that was music to his ears, it often made it hard not to get a ring boner when Jeff was in there grunting all the time. All the physical contact certainly didn't help either. He quickly shook those thoughts out of his head when he could feel a reaction growing in his pants. Punk didn't know when Jeff was going to sleep with him again, but he was really hoping it was soon. He didn't see why Jeff was being so resistant, it's not like they'd never done it before, and it wasn't rushing anything since they already have. Punk sighed. 'One day I'll understand him. One day.'

Jeff yawned on the bed and started to stretch. "How much longer do we have today?"

"Forever," Punk groaned.

Jeff smirked. "Hey, you volunteered for this."

"You owe me one," said Punk.

Jeff chuckled. "What do I owe you?"

"I have a few things in mind," said Punk lowly.

Jeff bit his lip and looked down at his feet. "Well, I'll have to keep that in mind."

Punk could feel his groin jump at Jeff saying that. 'Does that mean he wants to have sex? When does he want to have sex? Tonight? In a few days? NOW?' thought Punk. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his thoughts. One thing was for sure, tonight was going to be interesting.

AN: Thanks for reading guys! Please leave a review!

Crazychic- Thanks for reviewing! Sounds good lol


	5. Chapter 5

Punk pulled into the parking lot of a hotel for the night and stopped the bus. He let out a deep sigh and reached up to pop his back. "Hey Jeff."

Jeff slowly opened his eyes on the bed and stretched, letting out a soft groan. "Are we there?"

"Yeah," said Punk, walking over to the bed. He sat down beside Jeff on the bed and laid back. "Just gonna put this out there, I could really use a back massage."

Jeff chuckled as Punk rolled onto his stomach. He slowly climbed onto Punk's lower back and started rubbing all the tense spots out. Punk stifled a moan at the feeling of Jeff straddling him. 'Think unsexy thoughts,' thought Punk. 'Think unsexy thoughts.' "You're really good at these," said Punk. "I definitely missed this.

Jeff smiled softly. "I try." He slowly rubbed Punk's back, tracing his hands over every line and curve. "This cover me owing you one?"

"This more than covers it," said Punk, closing his eyes. Jeff was a miracle worker when it came to massages.

"Well, in that case, you owe me one," said Jeff.

Punk smirked. "What do you want?"

"I'll have to think about it," said Jeff, climbing off of him.

"I've got an idea," said Punk.

"Oh really?" said Jeff, sitting cross legged in front of him.

Punk sat up and slowly started leaning Jeff back. He pulled Jeff's long legs out, setting them on either side of himself. That was possibly Punk's favorite thing of all time, being wrapped up in Jeff's legs.

"Phil," said Jeff, biting his lip nervously. He knew that hungry look in Punk's eyes, he knew it very well. "I don't-"

"I know," said Punk, slowly running a hand up his leg. "We don't have to go all the way." He leaned his head down and started sucking on Jeff's collar bone. Punk's hand climbed its way up to Jeff's hip as he felt Jeff squirming underneath him. His other hand wrapped around Jeff's waist and started sliding up his shirt. Punk moved his lips up to Jeff's mouth and started kissing him slowly. Jeff moaned and wrapped his arms around Punk's shoulders. Punk bit Jeff's bottom lip gently before sliding his tongue into Jeff's mouth. Punk felt Jeff tense up and pulled away. "What?"

"Nothing, I just, I'm not. You know," said Jeff.

"Yeah," said Punk, with a sigh, sliding off of Jeff and lying beside him. "I know."

"Sorry," said Jeff, turning to face him. "I just don't want to rush it this time."

"We've had sex hundreds of times," said Punk. "It's not rushed."

"I want it to be different this time," said Jeff.

"What was wrong with last time?" said Punk. "We're together now, so what's the problem?"

"If you have to ask that then that's the problem," said Jeff, turning away from him.

"And why are you uncomfortable with this?" said Punk. "You used to love it when I bit your lip."

"I know, and I still do. I just need time Punk," said Jeff.

"It's Punk now?" said Punk, crossing his arms.

"Phil, just, leave me alone," said Jeff. "I'm tired."

"Fine," said Punk, facing away from him. There was an awkward silence for several minutes before Jeff got up. "I'm gonna shower."

"Ok," said Punk, staying facing away from him. He could feel sleep taking him over as the water in the shower started. Jeff showered for about fifteen minutes before he walked out of the bathroom in a towel. He looked over at Punk and sighed, seeing him sleeping. Jeff let his towel fall and started looking through his clothes for something to wear.

The closing of the bathroom door woke Punk, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. He was facing the window of the bus, and his eyes widened, making out Jeff's naked reflection in the little bit of mirror that wasn't covered by a curtain. Punk felt an immediate reaction and had to use every ounce of restraint he had not to moan from it. 'God, he's so fucking sexy,' thought Punk, scanning his eyes up Jeff's long, tan legs. He could feel his hand moving towards his pants until he stopped himself. He wanted so badly to just get up and take Jeff right then and there, but considering they just argued about that, it definitely wasn't a good idea. It probably wasn't even a good idea to watch, but he couldn't bring himself to shut his eyes, he wouldn't even blink if he didn't have to. It'd been so long since he was graced with this sight. Punk bit his bottom lip as Jeff pulled on some clothes. He contemplated if he was still going to pretend to be sleeping when Jeff climbed into bed. Punk's face fell to a frown when he saw Jeff grab a blanket out of the compartment and lay down on the couch.

'Is he really that upset?' thought Punk, still watching Jeff through what tiny reflection he could see. Jeff reached over and shut off the light in the bus and Punk silently sighed, only being able to see himself in the window now. He closed his eyes and just tried to go back to sleep. His dreams consisted entirely of Jeff and only Jeff. Dirty dream after dirty dream of them together, it was almost too much to take. Needless to say, he woke up with a decent "problem" when he woke up. He groaned and stretched looking over at Jeff. Jeff was already up, dressed, and sitting on the couch. "How long have you been up?" said Punk.

"A little while," said Jeff. "I didn't sleep well."

"Well no one sleeps well on the couch," said Punk, rubbing his face.

Jeff furrowed his brows. "How do you know I slept on the couch?"

Punk's eyes widened but he quickly shook it off. "I woke up in the middle of the night and saw you."

"Oh," said Jeff, sounding almost relieved. "I'm shocked you didn't wake me up to try and fuck me."

"Look, I'm sorry about last night," said Punk, turning on his side to face Jeff. "Let's just put it past us, and have a good drive today, alright?"

"Sure," said Jeff, nonchalantly.

"You still sound mad," said Punk.

"Nope," said Jeff.

Punk sighed and sat up. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Jeff just watched him go and sighed before laying back against the couch. Punk groaned softly as he got in the shower, feeling the hot water run over him. That was another lie he told Jeff. He'd lied to Jeff so many times over the past few days he'd lost count. This one wasn't that bad, but they were really starting to stack up. One day, he knew Jeff was gonna catch him right in the middle of one of these lies. 'It stops now,' thought Punk. 'No more lies. I am going to be completely, one hundred percent, honest with him.'

When he finished, Punk stuck his head outside of the bathroom door and looked at Jeff. "Hey, Jeff, could you hand me my clothes?"

Jeff looked over at him and then got up. "Yeah." He reached into the compartment and handed Punk his bag of clothes.

"Thanks babe," said Punk, taking the bag.

Jeff used all of his power to not smile at the pet name and just walked away. "You're welcome."

Punk smirked as he walked into the bathroom. He knew he saw the corners of Jeff's mouth start to turn up at that. He was sure he'd be able to wear Jeff down enough by the time they got to his house today that he wouldn't be mad anymore. As cute as Jeff looked when he was upset, Punk would much rather he wasn't. He walked out after getting dressed and sat by Jeff. "You want to stop somewhere for breakfast?"

Jeff furrowed his brows. Was Punk asking him on a date? That was new. "You don't want to just eat the food you have in here?"

"Nope," said Punk. "Where do you want to go? IHOP? McDonalds?"

Jeff got a small smile. "IHOP."

"As you wish," said Punk, grabbing Jeff's hand and kissing his knuckles. Jeff blushed as Punk walked to the front of the bus. 'This, is… weird,' thought Jeff. 'But, a good weird.' As they were driving down the highway, one overzealous fan noticed Punk's bus and started tailing it, taking as many pictures as possible. He followed them all the way to IHOP and stayed in his car to take pictures when they got out. "No way…" said the guy, seeing Punk help Jeff out of the bus by holding his hand. "Oh this shit is so going on the internet."

Punk held the door open for Jeff as they walked in. "Here we are."

"I haven't had pancakes in forever," said Jeff, looking around at the place.

"Well, you are in for a treat," said Punk, looking down at Jeff's butt.

Jeff looked back at him and smirked, gently smacking his arm. "Will you stop? We're in public."

"No one's watching," said Punk, looking up to Jeff's face. "And it's not like I'm grabbing it."

"Don't even start," said Jeff, and Punk chuckled. It was only a few more minutes before they were seated and started eating. Jeff groaned when his phone started ringing. "It's Matt." He picked it up and ate some of his food. "Hello?"

"How are the pancakes?" said Matt.

Jeff furrowed his brows. "What? How do you know I'm-"

"At IHOP?" said Matt. "With your boyfriend?"

Jeff's eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"

"There's pictures all over the internet of you and Punk holding hands at IHOP," said Matt.

Jeff almost swore his heart stopped right then and there. "What?"

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" said Matt.

"We're just getting breakfast," said Jeff. "And he only grabbed my hand to help me out of the bus."

Punk's eyebrows quirked and Jeff mouthed to him "look at your phone." Punk immediately went on Twitter and bit his lip, seeing pictures of him and Jeff everywhere.

"There's pictures of him staring at your butt too," said Matt. "So if you're not like that, I definitely think he is. And I need to talk to him about eye fucking my baby brother."

Jeff rolled his eyes. "He's not. I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Fine, you keep an eye on him," said Matt.

Jeff hung up and bit his lip. "Fuck."

"Fuck is right," said Punk, handing Jeff his phone. He was fully prepared for Jeff to tear into him about staring at him in public, but instead Jeff just sighed and pushed the phone back to him. "Matt's buying it's nothing for now. I guess we were bound to get caught eventually."

Punk gave him a small smile. "Well, there's certainly worse people for me to be paired with."

Jeff smiled back and ate more food. "You're being awfully cheesy this morning."

Punk rested his hands behind his head. "I had good dreams."

"Oh I'm sure," said Jeff. "I saw your pants tent this morning."

Punk smirked at him. "You were looking?"

"Shut up," said Jeff. "It's hard not to see."

"I am pretty big," said Punk, and Jeff rolled his eyes.

"I'm trying to eat," said Jeff.

"Alright, alright," said Punk. "We'll save this talk for later."

"Maybe," said Jeff.

'Well that's a huge improvement from last night,' thought Punk, getting a small grin and eating his food.

"That's not a yes," said Jeff, noticing Punk's grin. "It's a maybe."

"I know," said Punk. "But it's not a no."

Jeff shook his head with a small smirk. "Just eat. We have to get moving."

Punk just winked at him and got back to his food.

Jeff looked out the window of the restaurant. "Do you think he's still there?"

"I don't know," said Punk, scanning the cars outside. "If he is he's in his car."

"Well, if that sick creep keeps following us we'll have to give him a real show," said Jeff.

Punk raised a brow. "By real show, do you mean me fucking you against the outside of my bus, because I will happily do it in no questions asked."

Jeff chuckled. "I was more thinking you could knee him in the face."

"And then fuck you?" said Punk, chuckling when he got a glare from Jeff.

"Just eat your food," said Jeff, shaking his head.

AN: Thanks for reading! Please leave a review! :D

crazychic- Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it!

MrsMalfoyHardyBrooks- Thanks for following and favoriting!


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as they finished eating Jeff and Punk took off on the road again. Jeff sat beside Punk in the passenger's seat, biting his lip as he looked out the window. "What are you worrying about, babe?" said Punk, glancing over at him.

Jeff sighed and tucked a strand of red hair behind his ear. "It's gonna get out."

"It already is out," said Punk. "And that's ok. There's no reason for us to be sneaking around anymore. I promise you none of the guys are going to judge you, and you already ignore hate comments from the fans anyways."

"This is different," said Jeff.

"How? What makes this different from any other relationship you've been in?" said Punk.

"You know what," said Jeff. "This won't be like people telling me I'm a bad wrestler, this is people telling me I should burn in hell for sleeping with you."

"Don't let that get to you. You know they're just ignorant," said Punk.

"I know. That doesn't make it hurt any less," said Jeff.

"Don't let it get to you like that, you deserve to be happy," said Punk.

Jeff set his phone down on the dashboard and sighed softly. He knew Punk was right, but it didn't make it any easier. It's not like he had a choice now, though. Those pictures were everywhere. He could only lie so many times before people stopped believing the bullshit. 'Well, at least there's no more secrets,' Jeff surmised. No more having to hide from people, covering things up, lying to everyone. It should be relieving, but it wasn't. It was terrifying. 'This. Sucks,' thought Jeff. His phone vibrated on the dash and Jeff saw he had a message from Jay. Jeff opened it and scanned over the text, getting a small smile. It said, "Dude, I thought I was clear about the whole not sleeping with him thing."

Maybe this wasn't so bad. Jeff immediately texted Jay, "What can I say? He's good." He replied, "Spare me the details," and Jeff sat back against the chair with a small smirk. He really, really hoped everyone took the news like Jay did.

After another full day of driving, they made it to Jeff's house and Punk parked next to his driveway. Punk tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as Jeff unbuckled his seat belt. "Sooooo, can I-"

"Come on," said Jeff, cutting him off with a small smile. Punk chuckled and followed Jeff into the house. He looked around and smiled, seeing next to nothing had changed since he'd last been here. They both decided to just get to bed since they were exhausted. Punk stared up at the ceiling as he lied in Jeff's bed, with Jeff snuggled around his arm. 'How did I get this lucky?' thought Punk, twirling a strand of Jeff's hair around his finger. He couldn't mess this up again, he wouldn't. Punk rolled onto his side and kissed Jeff's forehead softly before going to sleep. He woke up in the morning feeling soft kisses on his collar bone, and smirked when he saw Jeff gently nibbling on it. "Good morning to you, too."

Jeff looked up at him with a smirk and bit his bottom lip. Punk immediately felt a reaction in his groin and pulled Jeff up to straddle him. He knew that lip bite anywhere. That was Jeff's "I'm ready to go" lip bite. Punk pulled Jeff's shirt off and tossed it aside. Jeff's lips returned to his collar bone, placing soft kisses and bites along it. Punk could just feel the hickeys forming already but he was beyond the point of caring.

Jeff's hands slid under his t-shirt and quickly pulled it off. He lent down to whisper "You're so sexy," in Punk's ear and ran his hands up Punk's chest. Punk had idea what brought this on, and was slightly questioning if he was just dreaming, but there was no way in hell he was complaining. He really had no time to think about it anyways before Jeff's lips made their way to his. Punk could feel the sparks flying as he kissed back. He slowly drifted his hands down to the waistband of Jeff's pants and pulled them down his legs. Jeff kicked them aside and Punk moaned at the feeling of Jeff's smooth skin under his fingers. Just as Jeff dipped the tips of his fingers into Punk's pants there was a knock at the door. They both pulled away and looked towards the door. "Matt?" said Punk.

"Probably," said Jeff, climbing off of his lap.

Punk looked at Jeff's state of undress and got up. "I'll get it." He tucked his erection away as best as he could and pulled his top back on before answering the door. As soon as Punk opened it Matt was in the house, and he did not look pleased. "You gonna tell me what the fuck's going on here?"

Punk bit his lip, trying to think of a reasonable answer. He didn't know if Jeff necessarily wanted to start telling people yet, but he really didn't see a way around it right now. "It's not too unlike what it seems."

Matt crossed his arm over his chest and stared down at the carpet. "So, you're… and he's…"

"Bi?" said Punk. "Yeah."

"I was going to say gay, but, yeah," said Matt.

"We still like girls, we just like each other too," said Punk.

Matt took a deep breath. "How long?"

Punk bit his lip a little and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, you know, give or take, a few years."

"WHAT?!" said Matt, looking up at him.

"We didn't want to say anything," said Punk. He saw Matt's eyes travel down to his neck and widen. 'Shit!' thought Punk. 'I forgot about the hickeys!' He didn't even have a chance to explain before he took a hard slap to the face.

"You're fucking my baby brother?!" Matt yelled.

"I thought that was implied!" said Punk, holding his stinging cheek.

"No that was not implied!" said Matt. He then grumbled. "I can't fucking believe this. I should have fucking known, the way he used to talk about you like you were the greatest thing ever." Matt looked more pissed than Punk had ever seen him, and he had seen a lot of Matt these past few years. "You couldn't have told me?"

"It wasn't even like that at first," said Punk. "I would have told you, but we were just fucking around-"

"Fucking around?!" said Matt. "You were just fucking around with my little brother? What kind of piece of… you are scum, you know that?"

"Look, the point is, Jeff is happy," said Punk. "Isn't that all that matters?" He was trying very hard to win Matt over, even just a little bit.

Matt took a deep breath as Jeff came down the stairs. "Matt-"

"Don't say it, I already know everything," said Matt. Jeff looked over at Punk, who gave him a small sheepish grin.

Matt turned to Punk and gave him a hard stare. "If I find out you ever do anything to hurt him, even in the slightest bit, consider this over."

"You won't," said Punk. With that Matt left and Jeff came down to stand next to Punk.

"I assume he wasn't pleased?" said Jeff.

"No, but it seems he approves, for now," said Punk.

"Really?" said Jeff. Punk nodded and he grinned and threw his arms over Punk's shoulders for a hug. "I guess it's not so bad for people to know."

"And now I can make out with you in public," said Punk, getting an eye roll from Jeff. "Oh you know you're looking forward to PDA too."

Jeff got a small smirk. "Maybe a little. So, who's going to confirm the relationship?"

"I guess I'll take the heat from Vince for it," said Punk, making Jeff chuckle.

"I could do it, you get in enough trouble over your twitter as is anyways," said Jeff. This certainly wouldn't be the first time Punk would get called to Vince's office over a tweet.

"You sure?" Punk asked.

Jeff nodded his head. "You know Vince likes me more than you." Jeff locked eyes with Punk. "This I a big step you know?"

"I know," said Punk, without a single ounce of hesitation.

Jeff smiled. "Well then, let's get in trouble."

"I love it when you're naughty," said Punk, as Jeff pulled away from him.

"How do you think Vince will react?" said Jeff.

"Well, if he doesn't have a heart attack, he'll probably kill us," said Punk, as Jeff grabbed his phone.

"Good, maybe he'll make you stop beating me up," said Jeff, and Punk smirked. "So, how do I make a tweet like this?"

"Give me the phone," said Punk with a chuckle. "We'll just pretend you're the one who leaked it."

Jeff stick his tongue out at Punk as he gave him the phone. "I could be as bad as you if I wanted to."

Punk ran a hand under Jeff's chin as he formed a tweet. "Sure, Jeff. Sure you could."

Jeff got a dirty smirk. "How about we go back to the bed and I'll show you."

AN: Happy New Year guys! Sorry it took so long to update. Future updates shouldn't take that long. Please leave a review! Have a great holiday and I hope you liked it!


	7. Chapter 7

Jeff let out a small squeal when Punk tossed his phone aside and picked Jeff up. He smirked as Punk started climbing the stairs. "So eager," said Jeff playfully, brushing back his hair out of his face. He loved how Punk got during these times, and he'd be a liar if he said he wasn't missing it. Jeff did want to wait to have sex for a little while, but his dreams last night were so dirty he couldn't take it, and he at least made Punk wait a few days. That counted as not going too fast, right?

Punk moaned as he opened the bedroom door. "It's been too long." He sat Jeff on the bed and started taking off his shirt. Jeff smiled lustfully at him while waiting. Punk tossed his top aside and laid Jeff back against the bed. "And you are way too sexy to wait any longer."

Jeff moaned as Punk kissed his neck. "Well, we could wait a little while longer."

"Nope," said Punk, pulling away to take Jeff's shirt off.

Jeff chuckled and wrapped his legs around Punk's waist. "Then get to it."

Punk leaned back down to kiss his jaw and muttered sweet nothings into his ear while he pulled Jeff's pants down. "I've missed your body do much."

Jeff smiled. "That all you missed?"

Punk rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Of course not. Where would I be without your constant attitude?"

Jeff smirked. "Oh please. I'm the one with the attitude?"

Punk smirked back. "Well, maybe not as much as me."

Jeff chuckled. Punk pinned his wrists above his head and moved his mouth Jeff's ear. "So, let's see if you still have a naughty side." He gently placed his lips over Jeff's before quickly pulling away, ignoring Jeff's whimpers.

"You know, babe," said Punk, sliding his thumb over Jeff's bottom lip. "I'm not complaining, but your attitude towards sex changed quite a bit overnight."

Jeff smiled. "Can you blame me? I can only hold off for so long with how hot you are."

Punk chuckled and traced his fingers through Jeff's hair. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," said Jeff.

"You can tell me," said Punk.

"No, it's really nothing," said Jeff. "I just, dreamt about you."

Punk smirked, grabbing Jeff's hair and pulling his head back to expose his neck. He kissed and bit at Jeff's collar bone, feeling Jeff squirm underneath him. "Well, I guess I won't deprive you any further."

He quickly got rid of the rest of their clothes and they went at it until they were both gasping for breath. When they finished Jeff sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Holy duck, I forgot how good that was."

Punk chuckled and ran his hand down Jeff's back. "No kidding. We should do this all day."

Jeff smirked back at him. "In a minute. Let me see what damage you've done to my twitter."

"It wasn't that bad," said Punk, watching Jeff get up and walk to his phone. "By the way, never wear clothes again."

Jeff chuckled and opened his twitter. His eyes widened. "Phil!"

"What?" said Punk.

"A picture? Really?" said Jeff, looking at one of their old selfie of Jeff kissing him on the cheek.

"Hey, I could have said something much worse," said Punk. "You should be happy I only posted a picture."

Jeff rolled his eyes and set his phone down. "I guess you could have posted a worse picture of us."

Punk chuckled as Jeff sat back down on the bed. "Trust me, I was tempted to just tweet that picture of you sucking me off." Jeff glared and he winked. "I'm just kidding."

"If you ever so anything like that I'll kill you," said Jeff.

"I know, come lay with me," said Punk, patting the bed next to him. Jeff sat by him as he read through his twitter notifications. There were, of course, some negative reactions, but most were just "HOLY SHIT!" and "ASDFSDSGGA!" Punk rolled onto his side and ran his hand down Jeff's shoulder. "Hey don't read what they're saying."

"It's not as bad as I was expecting," said Jeff. Even though he was shocked at how many people were completely on board with it. The few angry tweets did still hurt, though.

Punk grabbed Jeff's phone and set it aside on the bedside table. "None of that. Don't even look at it."

Jeff smiled back at him. "You act like you don't read them."

"I read them for different purposes," said Punk. "That's not even close to the same."

Jeff scoffed and laid down, facing him. "How many times in our relationship did you break character to defend me on twitter?"

"That was for you, so it doesn't count," said Punk, propping his head up on his hand.

Jeff rolled his eyes with a smirk. "No, that was for your pride. And you almost exposed us several times doing it."

"Like when?" said Punk.

"Like when you tweeted, 'Hey guys, no homo, but Jeff has a nice ass.'" said Jeff.

"I said no homo," said Punk with a smirk, poling Jeff's nose.

Jeff scrunched up his face at the contact and laughed. "Well, it's out now."

"And that's just fine," said Punk.

Jeff sighed and laid on his back, stretching his arms overhead. "I'm exhausted."

"You only came twice," said Punk, running his hands down Jeff's torso. "Normally you'd come at least 5 times."

"Well, it's been a while," said Jeff.

"Too long," said Punk, pulling Jeff closer to hold him.

Jeff yawned and placed his hands over Punk's arms. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight babe," said Punk, resting his head on top of Jeff's. He quickly fell asleep, but woke up just a few hours later with a groan. Punk rubbed his eyes and pulled away slightly from Jeff to lie on his back. He got up and walked to the bathroom, biting his lip when he saw Jeff's bag lying by the closet. 'It has to be in there,' thought Punk. 'I wonder if he's written anything recently…' He shook his head and walked to the sink, splashing some water on his face. Punk felt like a drug addict with how attracted he was to that thing. 'I have to tell him I read it,' thought Punk. 'Before he finds out some other way.'

He tapped his fingers on the sink several times before walking over to Jeff's bag. 'Just to see if he's written anything new,' thought Punk. 'I mean, I have to know how he's feeling.' As soon as he opened it, he heard the bathroom door open.

"Hey!" said Jeff, walking in. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," said Punk, dropping the journal.

Jeff crossed his arms with a glare and Punk sighed. "I just wanted to know how you were feeling."

"Why don't you just ask me," said Jeff.

"You never tell me anything," said Punk. "That journal has told me way more than you ever do."

"You've read it before?!" said Jeff.

"I.. yes," said Punk.

"I can't fucking believe you," said Jeff, leaving the bedroom and storming downstairs.

"It was all I could do! You wouldn't talk to me!" said Punk, walking after him.

"There were a MILLION other things you could have done!" said Jeff, turning to face him. "And it's not like you ever listened to me in the first place!"

"Look, I'm sorry, ok?" said Punk.

"No! It's not ok!" said Jeff. "Do you have any idea how this makes me feel?"

"Jeff, please," said Punk, gently grabbing Jeff's hand. "Let's just, sleep on it, alright? We can talk about this in the morning, and then you can be as mad at me as you want."

"I'm not mad," said Jeff, walking past him back to the bedroom. "I just really don't respect you right now."

Punk's face fell and he sighed as he followed Jeff back upstairs. They went to sleep in the same bed, and Jeff even let Punk snuggle with him, but it didn't feel the same. Something felt very, very off. When he woke up in the morning, Punk, gently brushed Jeff's hair out of his face and kissed his cheek. "Good morning."

"Good morning," said Jeff, rubbing his eyes.

"Are you gonna yell at me?" said Punk.

"No," said Jeff.

"Why not?" said Punk, as Jeff turned in his arms to face him.

"What's the point?" said Jeff. "It doesn't change anything."

"I'm sorry," said Punk. "If I could go back, I never would have read it."

"You only changed your voicemail because you did, right?" said Jeff.

"I didn't know what you wanted," said Punk. "I just wanted you to talk to me again. I wanted everything to be the same again."

Jeff scoffed. "Well, you got what you wanted. We're right back in the same boat we always were."

Jeff pulled away and Punk sat up. "No, we're not."

"All we do is argue," said Jeff, sitting on the edge of the bed. "This is why I ended things in the first place."

"We're communicating now," said Punk. "We're actually together now, and people know we're together."

"And yet, somehow, nothing has changed!" said Jeff. "We're still as fucked up as we always were."

"Look, no more secrets, no more lies, none of that," said Punk.

"Like you could ever stop lying to me," said Jeff.

"Oh you've lied to me plenty of times too," said Punk.

"Like when?" said Jeff.

"Like when you said nothing was wrong all those times," said Punk. "That, was a lie."

"That's not the same," said Jeff.

"I promise, no more lies," said Punk. "I'll prove it, I'll be honest right now. When you got out of the shower on the bus, I watched you get dressed."

Jeff gasped and he looked over at Punk. "Phil! And you didn't even say anything?!"

"Well, I, you're really hot," said Punk.

Jeff tried his best not to but smiled and looked away. "You're ridiculous."

Punk smiled softy and gently touched his arm. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," said Jeff. "I just, I'm just tired."

"Alright," said Punk. "I know I'm not the best at showing it, but I love being with you." He started rubbing Jeff's back softly and Jeff smiled. "You know," said Punk. "I always kinda loved our storyline after we broke up. It's the only way I could get you to talk to me."

"Well, I liked it too," said Jeff. "It gave me a reason to talk to you."

Punk chuckled as Jeff laid down to give Punk better access to his back. "Have we made up yet?"

"Only if you keep doing this," said Jeff, resting his head on his forearms.

"It was really hard without you around," said Punk. "I really do need you."

"I don't know how you managed to stay out of trouble," said Jeff. "I have saved your ass so many times it's not even funny."

"Well I was too sad to do anything bad," said Punk. "I was really, genuinely, heartbroken you left."

Jeff sat up and leant his head on Punk's shoulder. "I'm never leaving again. I promise."

"Ever again?" said Punk. "That sounds like marriage."

"You had to make it weird," said Jeff, getting up and walking downstairs.

Punk chuckled and followed him. "You know what's weird? Vince hasn't called yet."

"I know," said Jeff. "He hasn't even texted. Do you think we gave him a heart attack?"

"That's possible," said Punk. "He's probably too pissed to even function right now."

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this," said Jeff, sitting at the table.

"What do you mean?" said Punk, sitting by him.

"Wrestling," said Jeff, rubbing his neck. "I'm exhausted."

Punk's eyebrows queried. Well, this was new. 'He's actually confiding in me,' thought Punk. "Are you sure?"

Jeff sighed. "No. I don't know. I don't think I'm going to come back when my contract is over."

"Jeff, this is a really big decision," said Punk. "Where is this coming from?"

"I've been thinking about it for a while," said Jeff. "My body is done."

"Oh," said Punk. "I had no idea."

"I didn't want to tell anyone until I was sure," said Jeff, looking over at Punk. "But there's so much to think about. Especially now with you. I don't know when I'll get to see when I leave, or if you'll even still want to be together-"

"Hey," said Punk. "I'm in this for the long haul. Not seeing you on the road isn't going to change that."

Jeff smiled at him and sighed. "This is hard."

"I know," said Punk. "Hey, maybe Vince getting so pissed he fires us won't be such a bad thing after all."

Jeff chuckled. "You think they'll still pair me with Trish?"

"They better not," said Punk.

Jeff smirked. "That's be a nice way to end my career, go out with a championship victory and a trophy girlfriend."

"No, kissing me would make it much better," said Punk.

Jeff chuckled. "I guess we'll find out which it is."

AN: Thanks for reading! Please leave a review!

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